BFA Piece - Written component
Soak (verb)
/ sōk /
soaked; soaking; soaks
1: to lie immersed in liquid (such as water) : become saturated by or as if by immersion
2a: to enter or pass through something by or as if by pores or interstices : PERMEATE
2b: to penetrate or affect the mind or feelings —usually used with in or into
Blood Tea
An inflicted pain from my weightless fingers
Blue to the touch
White to the view
Brewing bubbles to chew
I am seeping in murky water
Like tea, porous, an opened wound
I am strained of truth
Drained existence
is thick and boiling
Bittersweet
Meet me, respect me, retreat please
That honey so lovely
Settled at the bottom of my cup
Sediments of compliments
Watch as my warmth swells and spreads
Through the purest of waters
Like watching cream meet chamomile
A spill, a stain
Ringlets on your mahogany
It’s too much for me
Take a sip of this blood tea
A whipped blip into my veins
The morsels of me in liquid form
It’s warm
They swarm
Dunked into dreamland I sleep some more
Heavy eyelids fade to black
It’s strength that I lack
It’s air that I want more
Void (adjective)
/ void /
Similar:
useless
Worthless
noun: void; plural noun: voids
1: a completely empty space"The void of space"
2: an emptiness caused by the loss of something
Similar:
empty space
space
blank space
blank
vacuum
hole
hiatus
emptiness
nothingness
3. MEDICINE
discharge or drain away (water, gases, etc.)
excrete (waste matter)
empty or evacuate (a container or space)
Similar:
eject
emit
Discharge
Excrete
release
exude
Evacuate
Drain
Unload
Unburden
Diagnosis / Void filler
Instant heat the rush, the flushed body, the surge of free falling. Alice’s rabbit hole, my new home. All in all, sunk. They’re like seeds, these bumps, they’re alive. They’re bumps. No, lumps. No, seeds. Brought from foreign birds migrating through countries, no bodies. Unfamiliar to the touch, unfamiliar to this body, its sheltered bits. A body already inhabited, no, infected with voids for filling. Grown larger the more I drown in bloody bath water. Sylvia says, skin doesn’t have roots... feet to the stars and moon skulled. But I am rooted. No, grounded, replanted in earth's inner core, scorched, bubbling. They boil, these bumps. They do what they’re told. They’ve been searching for a home, they need me.
Solely (adverb)
/ˈsō(l)lē/
1: not involving anyone or anything else; only."It was left solely in my hands”
2: Similar:
only
simply
just
merely
uniquely
exclusively
entirely
completely
absolutely
totally
wholly
alone
no more than
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
Solidarities regret
Reeking from the hands
Of a man
That man
His hand
Imprinted on my cheek
Red
Stinging
The ringing in my ear
Eyes boiling withheld tears and stomach clumped fears
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I hear
The problem with slaps, like snaps,
They fade
Red fades flushed,
Sting turned stung
He must have thought my face,
A drum
Nerveless
Nervous, begging to be beaten
With the hand
That hand
Written on this page
I retreat in
Maybe it helped he didn’t know me
Besides the
Roundness
Slip-dress(ed)
Softness,
Of this body
Maybe that man,
That hand
Felt the grind of my teeth,
The way he sought out the grind
Of this body
I’m sorry
You know, drums,
They hum
Hollow and heavy
Full, its belly
That hum a moan,
the sound he hopes to hear
if he gets me alone
Thinking this body
Is something he owns
My bruised cheek?
A milestone
To men thinking they’re grown
Their mark, my bruise
Making me think
I have nothing to lose
That my life is a loan
Because I lack testosterone
Sit back, baby boy
Squirm in that chair,
Frustrated you will never be blown,
By me
Yes, me
I’mmm sorrryyyyyy
I’m sorry
The imprint of his hand
That hand
That man
Remains tender to the right
Of my left eye
A pea-sized reminder, a pressure point
An unnoticed, shy girls’ tongue tie
I catch myself
Digging deeper, my pointer finger
Just to hear myself whimper
To feel something
To feel my blood pumping
Blood pumped blue
Dig turned dug
Numb, a hum
I should have known my bruise,
Bubble gum
Stuck on the bottom of his shoe,
Maybe gulped maybe chewed
A flavorful feud
I’m sorry, I don’t understand
You were quick with that hand
And quicker to use words I know too well
As a way to disband
It must be too much to ask
To hope that man,
That men
His hand
Unlearns the pedestal on which he stands
Left out to rot
The relationship between fruit and fly,
Supposedly sweeter the more we bruise
Carrying swarms of abuse,
Trying to chew the little word why
Maybe it would help to be heard
Trust me, I’ve tried
Mama, hear me
Plant seeds of trees in my name
Neither you nor Papa are to blame
Lifted glass of unsweetened iced tea
Ringlets on wood, green eyes
Beastly
Buggeyed and unsatisfied,
Living to be buried
Tell me again
I know you love me dearly
Remind me of all the reasons why
I just need time to drip-dry
I just
I must
I must learn to get by
Whole (adjective)
/ hōl /
1a: free of wound or injury :UNHURT
1b: recovered from a wound or injury :RESTORED
1c: being healed
2a: free of defect or impairment :INTACT
2c: mentally or emotionally sound
3a: constituting the total sum or undiminished entirety : ENTIRE
In charge of one’s whole body
3b: directed to one end : CONCENTRATED
your whole attention
3c: seemingly complete or total
“The whole idea is to help, not hinder”
3d: very great in quantity, extent, or scope
“Feels a whole lot better now”
Collection
She thought of s p a c e / Accumulated / twenty pounds / five bodies / three homes / three assaults / one diagnosis / enough to fill both cheeks / a forager, gatherer / a planner, prepared for winter/ instead of nuts, stashed seedlings of consistencies / plucked at the root / year one, year two / a seam ripper to pants too small / body too big for once favored jeans/ a mule from southern farm lands/ a hybrid/ bred to carry/ /Sylvia would say c o w h e a v y / /hooves seem to sway/ teeter tottered cargo / aware of the space she fills/ / year three, year four/ she’s used to this/ / back, black and blue / no proof/ / mouth open/ balloon bellied / enough room to fit someone(s), something(s) / / Olivia says I wrapped my mouth around anything that would fill it / swallowed voids, vacant but longing / too numb is to float/ full/ of patterned words/ poetry/ desperate and dough like / full/ enough to inflate each finger/ the way latex gloves fill as you blow/ taut enough to hold/ / she thought of s p a c e/ / a vessel/ both body/ and word/ held together by anything that stuck / Amina says If something flows through me, I think it is mine. I / entitled men / an unrequited space/ to fill me/ /It took / twenty pounds/ five bodies/ three homes / three assults /1 diagnosis/ a gag of words and whens / to hold the weight / of a girl/ already / full /